Peace, Love and Presence

snowyscene

It’s been a great year! I continue to focus on being, “Happy and present-one day at a time,” but I have to admit that I’ve been struggling lately. I’ve been feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, short of patience and oh, so tired. I know these feelings are not uncommon this time of year, but I can’t remember feeling this way with such a constant intensity.

I feel as if life is on VOLUME TEN!

 Perhaps it’s because my hard work has paid off and, by comparison to my normally calm, grounded daily routines, this time of year now seems off the charts in every way.
No matter the reason, I’ve been working to get back on track to  Peace, Love and Presence!
Here are some things that I’ve found helpful and that I hope can lighten your load this holiday season:
  1. Realize that many people share similar feelings and that this time of year can bring a wide range of emotions for a variety of reasons, like grief, depression and anxiety, to name a few.
  2. Understand that your feelings are temporary and most likely will pass after the holidays are over. Around this time last year I wrote about how I was feeling some of the same feelings!
  3. Share your feelings with those closest to you and ask for help when you need it. Chances are pretty good that your loved ones have noticed that you’ve been a little short of patience. I’m sure mine have!
  4. Practice self compassion and self care-you know the drill! If not, read my post about self compassion here: https://beallthere.net/2016/02/14/self-love/ and read about my self care routine here: https://beallthere.net/2015/08/22/funkytown-just-passing-through/
  5. Be present. Certainly honor your past and dream about your future, but try not to dwell on them, especially this time of year. It feels good to let go of some of the sadness of what was and the worry of what will be. It will all work out, it always does. You can read what I wrote about Christmas Presence here: https://beallthere.net/2015/12/15/christmas-presence/
  6. Acknowledge your feelings, including any physical symptoms. I’ve been experiencing some aches and pains, and, when I went to the doctor last week and she asked if I was under any stress, I denied it because I actually was unaware that my stress was causing physical symptoms. Luckily all is well and I’m feeling much better.
  7. Be quiet. When feeling overwhelmed, it helps to turn down the volume. Turn off the television, unplug,  and dim the lights. It can have a calming effect.
  8. Take time off if you can. Carve out some time away from your desk or your computer to unwind and recharge.
  9. Have a cup of tea. Since it’s meant to be sipped slowly, it will help slow down your pace.
  10. Be playful. My daughter’s dog, Ellie makes me laugh and smile every day!

eleanor

Wishing you Peace, Love and Presence this Holiday Season, and always!

Love,

Jeanne

I Rise

I woke up a little after 4 a.m. and immediately checked my phone for the election results. I thought I was still dreaming,  at first, but quickly realized the candidate, who many believed was a joke, had won the presidential election.

I am heartbroken.

Although I know that not all that voted for him support his cruel rants against humanity, it feels as if hate and divisiveness won over love and inclusion. What a sobering reminder that there are many who do not support equal human rights for all.

Even though I’m hunched over because the wind has been knocked out of me, I must somehow move forward.  The sun still rises and sets each day and each day I have a choice.

On this Veteran’s Day I will raise my American flag with gratitude to all who fought for my freedom to choose.

irise1

 

I choose love, hope and compassion, and, in the beautiful words of Maya Angelou, “I Rise.”

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou, 19282014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

 

 

 

 

1984

A few days ago my husband and I watched our wedding video that he transferred onto a DVD. Two things came to mind almost immediately.

First, I can’t believe we actually paid someone for it; the quality and editing were horrible! Actually, I think the quality and editing were good and that my standards for movie viewing have changed substantially in 30 years!

The other thing I became aware of the moment we started watching our wedding DVD was the huge rush of emotions that it triggered. It was instantaneous. I saw myself in a wedding gown at my parents’ house, with my parents, my sisters and my friends (and my two Aunts who had come to see me in my dress), and I immediately felt sadness, grief, longing, regret, loss, loneliness, and sentimentality.

As I continued watching, I also felt love, contentment, security and happiness as we exchanged our vows, and then joy, freedom and pride while seeing our families and our friends dance, party and toast us at the reception (also, shock, at how many people were smoking cigarettes). We had a great time!

As the DVD ended and I was left with this surge of emotions, I was lured by an old “friend” to crawl into a hole of despair where I could dwell on feeling depressed about the past and anxious about the future. I’ve been there before and, actually, the familiarity of it was quite tempting.

After acknowledging my feelings and accepting them (yup, there they are and this is me!), I made a decision NOT to dwell in them, not to go down that all too familiar path of depression and anxiety, BUT to use what I had been practicing for months:

Presence

What a game changer! I’ve been practicing yoga, meditating and journaling now for several months. I find that writing down what I’m grateful for each day and setting an intention for the day sets a positive, purposeful vibe for my day. My new habits paid off and my old defaults of depression and anxiety have been reset to mindfulness in the present moment, which creates peace!

Part of my journey in the last few months has been self-love and what a gift I’ve given myself!

I’ve gotten to this point with just a few simple things added to my day that don’t cost a thing and take very little time. They make me feel more centered, but honestly I didn’t think they could possibly have such a huge impact on regulating some of my deeply rooted emotions.

To read more about adding these things to your day read my previous post https://intomyfifties.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/my-cup-of-tea/. In addition to these habits, I think my diet impacts how I feel. I mainly eat a plant-based diet and limit my carb and sugar intake. I am nowhere close to eating a perfect diet (I love my coffee), but I’ve found that this way of eating helps me sustain my energy throughout the day. I feel more balanced. Finally, I have a lot of support from a few people in my life who I know genuinely care about me and accept me unconditionally. For them, I am truly grateful!

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Into My Fifties, comment (I’d love to hear from you) & share.

Peace and Love,

Jeanne

You Reap What You Sow

This expression has always had a negative connotation to me, until recently.

I have been reflecting on my relationships with my children lately, since our quality time together will be forever altered. By the end of the summer my husband and I will have a true empty nest. Not the college-years-empty nest where the kids come home for long periods of time and are still dependent on us, but the kind of empty nest where they begin their independent lives with “their” people and, most likely, will never live under our roof again.

I think we all strive to raise our kids with what we feel we may not have gotten and in my case it’s sensitivity. As a kid I was often told by my well-meaning parents that I was, “too sensitive.” Feelings weren’t really processed much and I was raised with a “stiff-upper-lip-turn-the other-cheek” attitude. As a preteen and well into my twenties, I was one big confused raw emotion and I felt emotionally fragile most of the time. Through much soul searching, life experiences and self-acceptance, I have grown into my sensitivity and actually think it’s one of my best qualities.

While raising my children I’ve always acknowledged what and how they were feeling and how their interactions with others impacted those around them. We didn’t shy away from openly discussing how we all felt, no matter how difficult it may have been at times.
My children are sensitive, compassionate adults, and I get to “reap what I’ve sown.” I may not have gotten the sensitivity that I craved as a child but in fostering it in my children, I’m getting it twofold.

 

by Adella

by Adella